39 - Happy Memories
The start of a new year puts most people in a contemplative mood, taking the rare opportunity to zoom out and consider their lives and the ways in which they would like to improve them. This is right up our alley, so let's talk about one of our favorite, albeit overlooked, Keystones. The Fifth Keystone implores every one of us to seek and follow your calling in life.
This sort of introspection is rarely done on an ongoing basis, but given that the start of a year is when most people are doing it, it's efficient to join in the fun. Reevaluating where you are and where you're going are important undertakings. Finding something that sings, in your heart, is what makes life worth living.
If you've not quite hit your stride, or do not feel like you have found your calling yet, this is the reminder to keep looking. Seeking and following your calling in life is an ongoing quest, one that can take a long time, and in and of itself is a journey of self-discovery. This journey is also a blessing! The quest for a calling enriches our lives by its very nature.
To truly discover your purpose in life, what is necessary is a wealth of experience. Each of us has to learn (and sometimes from others, lest we forget the Fourth Keystone), accumulating knowledge and experiences. This takes time, and it takes new events, new actions, new trials and new tribulations. We grow our knowledge base and our sophistication. Trying new things also enriches our lives more broadly.
Putting ourselves out there and experiencing new things brings new firsts into our compendium of understanding. Each time we go through these firsts, these stories are encoded into our minds. These stories are then tied to memories and expands our lives. When people are asked to recall memories, there is an odd pattern that emerges: people tend to tie their recollections to their strongest memories - to their firsts and their new experiences. This tends to be weighted heavily to the formative years. From 15 to 30 is when most people learn the most and experience the most new things.
Looking at a study by British researchers, (see Age differences in source forgetting: Effects on reality monitoring and on eyewitness testimony by Gillian Cohen and Dorothy Faulkner), over 70% of vivid memories were either first time experiences or unique events. Here, it appears that novelty ensures durability in terms of memory creation. Novel experiences require greater cognitive processing, which in turn results in the brain encoding these memories more firmly and ensures that a lasting memory remains. Put another way: if you're looking to create a new memory, take someone to a place they've not been before, share food you've never had, try an activity for the first time.
Our brains also help via the tendency to amplify positive memories and suppress negative ones. Here, even if you don't like the new first itself, the mere act of trying something new in good company is recorded as a positive memory. We're already wired to make happy memories - now we just have to take the extra half step and consciously try to bridle this power and use it for good. Think about it in small ways, how can we turn the ordinary into the unusual or the memorable? Even something as simple as going out in the middle of the week rather than the weekend, eating in a different part of your home, or going to a park rather than a bar, all can make a difference.
Harnessing this power also has the added benefit of expanding your life and helping it 'slow down'. The years flying by (or such impression) is more rationally explained as a lack of equal recollection of each segment of time. If one year is more memorable than the subsequent 3, the first year will be remembered and the next 3 will just 'fly by'. These 3 'fast' years are basically caused by lack of lasting memories. This is why you should you ought to Seek your calling! Slow down. This is a form of Worship - trying new things and Seeking your calling. The Paraclete has your best interests in mind, who are any of us to argue.
Celebrate the new year and Worship!
